Let’s normalise talking about sex. It’s a part of everyday life. So many people enjoy it, but still consider it a taboo topic. It’s ok if you feel uncomfortable talking about sex as it can be such a vulnerable situation to be in. However, there are things you can do to put yourself at ease. Following the steps below will help you create comfortable spaces where you can have honest and open conversations about your sex life.
Try Different Things
The more comfortable you get talking about sex, the more you can start talking about things you’d like to try. You and your partner can set a foundation to build on. If there’s been something you want to explore or try, don’t feel embarrassed about bringing this up with your partner. Who knows? They might want to try it too but haven’t felt comfortable bringing it up. Whether it’s looking at red lingerie together or discussing the use of sex toys, don’t make any topic off-limits.
Talk with People
If the thought of discussing sex with your partner is daunting, why not talking about sex with different people first? You can talk about sex with your close friends. This can help you in several ways. It turns the taboo topic into a healthy conversation. It can make it feel less ‘dirty’ and focus on what it really is – a part of your relationship. It can help you voice concerns, if you have any and also make you feel empowered and more in control of your sex life.
Ask Questions
An open conversation with your partner about your sex life is a healthy thing. It offers an opportunity to find out what the other is into. Equally, you can find out what they’re not comfortable doing. If you’re unsure of what language to use, you could consider using checklists. It helps the two of you understand what you’re both comfortable with, and can create healthy boundaries too.
Schedule Time
Your conversations about sex don’t have to happen in the bedroom. This can add pressure. For instance, if your partner asks, ‘are you comfortable with this?’ just before they’re about to do something, you might feel pressure to agree. Schedule in time to talk about your sex life outside of the bedroom. It can help the two of you focus on the conversation, without other distractions.
Be Patient
One conversation about sex won’t immediately make you lower all your boundaries and make you super comfortable. Give yourself time to adjust. Remember, practice makes perfect. The more you talk, the more you’ll learn about yourself and your partner.
Talking about sex is healthy and nothing to be embarrassed about. The right partner will be encouraging and won’t make you feel uncomfortable during these conversations.
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© Copyright 2021 Antonia, All rights Reserved. Written For: Tidylife
